sfogo comico (1 in inglese / 1 in italiano)

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published
by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were
actually taking place.
Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.

Q = domanda - giudice/avvocato
A = risposta - imputato/testimone

--

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

--

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

--

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

--

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

--

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

--

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

--

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

--

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

--

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

--

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

--

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

--

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

--

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

--

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

--

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

--

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

--

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
--

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

--

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

---

video: Pong (il vecchissimo videogioco) come non l'avete mai visto
una volta aperto il link, schiacciate col tasto sx del mouse su 'play now':

http://online.sector.sk/hra.aspx?id=238

---

vi siete mai chiesti come mai la stessa parola assume significati diversi a seconda che venga detta ad un uomo o a una donna?
...strano ma vero...
alcuni esempi esplicativi:

Un cortigiano: un uomo che vive a corte
Una cortigiana: una mignotta

Un massaggiatore: un Kinesiterapista
Una massaggiatrice: una mignotta

Un professionista: un uomo che conosce bene la sua professione
Una professionista: una mignotta

Un uomo di strada: un uomo duro
Una donna di strada: una mignotta

Un uomo senza morale: un politico
Una donna senza morale una mignotta

Un uomo pubblico: un uomo famoso, in vista
Una donna pubblica: una mignotta

Un uomo facile: un uomo con il quale è facile vivere
Una donna facile: una mignotta

Un intrattenitore: un uomo socievole afabulatore
Una intrattenitrice: una mignotta

Un adescatore: un uomo che coglie al volo persone e situazioni
Un'adescatrice: una mignotta

Un uomo molto disponibile: un uomo gentile
Una donna molto disponibile: una mignotta


...adios...

 

queste delle differenze fra aggettivi è vecchia ma fa sempre sorridere!

 

quoto

 

A me è piaciuto un casino il filmato del pong anche quelle degli avvocati però....
"quante autopsie fa su gente morta?"
"le mie autopsie sono tutte su gente morta..."